Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Armchair Rocket Scientists - Real Men of Genius

Sometimes I get so tired of armchair rocket scientists on blogs or in forums who talk smack, without having the foggiest idea what they're talking about. Case in point, people reacting like idiots to the latest scrub of Endeavour because of the hydrogen leak, blaming NASA and calling the people who work there incompetent.

Someone wrote something that triggered the Bud Light commercial "Real Men of Genius", those funny commercials where they talk about all manner of funny things. So, I made one up. Remember, you have to read it like the commercial, even with the background singing guy. lol.

Announcer - The Space Program Presents...Real Men of Genius.

Background Singer - "Real Men of Genius"

Announcer - Today we salute you, Mr. I know everything about space from my couch guy.

BG Singer - Mr. I know everything about space from my couch guy.

Announcer - From the comfort of your home in your Underoos, you judge some of the most complex systems man has ever created.

BG Singer - Bringing down the gavel.

Announcer - All it takes is one small glitch, and you're ready to pounce like a cheetah on a lemur.

BG Singer - What the hell's a lemur?

Announcer - In your mind you know that without you, mankind would never have launched satellites, built a space station, or even landed on the Moon.

BG Singer - I can see my house from here.

Announcer - So sit back and crack open a cold one, because while you pass uninformed judgement, rest assured that the people with the real knowledge and intelligence are diligently working to make sure that all things space, remain safe.

BG Singer - Mr. I know everything about space from my couch guy.

Brought to you by The Space Program, Washington, DC.


Anonymous said...

oh boy, i would love to "hear" this

Anonymous said...

Haha, better get out your guitar and recording equipment Doug, STAT!

Make it happen!

Douglas Mallette said...

No happening. lol. I can't play guitar and can't sing very well. Didn't you hear my version of "Little Rover Bot Guys"? lol.

Anonymous said...

Somebody needs to.

Rob Goddard said...

This post is funny cause you are this guy...

Douglas Mallette said...

Rob Goddard - Coming from someone with no credentials or real profile, I don't take your jab very seriously, however, just to clarify...

1. I work with the Space Shuttle Program here in Houston.

2. I have an Aerospace Engineering Technology Degree.

3. I'm currently pursuing my Astrophysics Masters, then PhD.

4. I know people that work in other parts of the space industry.

5. I'm actively involved in several space advocacy groups or student organizations.

Suffice to say, I am NOT some random schmuck sitting behind the anonymity of their computer spouting off about the space program, of which they probably know nothing about. I am in the biz, of the biz, and knowledgeable about the biz. So I am definitely not this guy, but thanks for playing. :)

Anonymous said...

Perhaps you can explain to us couch potato rocket scientists how some guy with a PhD and five or so masters degrees, can so thoroughly screw up the future American human space flight program.

Inquiring armchair scientists want to know.

Douglas Mallette said...

KT - Because he's pressured and influenced by politicians who care more about getting re-elected than actually providing a solid foundation for America's space program.

I don't care how many degrees you have, if Congress is involved, it's crap. lol.

Mauricio Soler said...

1. So does a truck driver at KSC
2. -- This major HELPS engineers do the real work
3. Thesis or this an online degree. And the thens don't add much, and then I'm president
4. People know me. I have many leather bound books. My apartment smells of rich mahgony.
5. If I join the NRA, am I suddenly a rifle master?

Douglas Mallette said...

Mauricio - Ha, nice cheap shots. Can't bring anything constructive to the conversation huh? Typical.

sm said...

Doug, Thank you for this. I almost peed myself. I could hear the whole thing in my head. Trust that most of us in "the biz" share your sentiment.

Douglas Mallette said...

sm - Glad you enjoyed it. :)